


A Date On Christmas Eve

by thorkified



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas Eve, Death, First Dates, M/M, Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-18 23:48:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13111110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorkified/pseuds/thorkified
Summary: Lucifer knows how much Sam loves Christmas and this year, their first together, they have a date on Christmas Eve. He knows his family is waiting for him, but he promised and he would never break a promise he made Sam.





	A Date On Christmas Eve

The young woman behind the counter smiled warmly at Lucifer as she arranged the flowers for him and even though the smile he gave back in return was weak, she accepted it.

“I’m sure your girlfriend will love these,” the woman said and Lucifer nodded.

“I hope so,” he simply replied, not bothering to correct her.

Lucifer paid and the woman wrapped the bouquet up so the snow wouldn’t destroy them. He was careful when he took the flowers and thanked her, leaving the shop as he had entered - a young man in his thirties, dressed in an elegant suit and a long, black trench coat, and a calm expression on his face that emitted some sort of peace.

He was a man on his way to meet the love of his life, to bring him flowers and spend the night he always loved the most with him - Christmas Eve. For so long Sam had been excited for Christmas to come around, with all the lights and music and decorations. He loved this time of the year, where everything was peaceful and filled with happiness and joy. Of course he had infected Lucifer after a while and he had agreed to a date on Sam’s favorite holiday. They had been mostly friends until that point, but for a long time Lucifer had feelings for Sam and when the brunet had hugged him and gave him a kiss, Lucifer knew that they were mutual.

As he walked through the streets and left footprints in the snow, Lucifer wondered why this day was so special for Sam. He never told him or gave him any reason for his excitement and Lucifer never asked - when Sam was happy, everything else didn’t really matter to him.

The city was filled with last minute shoppers and from every store the familiar Christmas melodies could be heard, something Lucifer knew Sam would enjoy greatly. Surprisingly, even those who were completely stressed out and in a hurry had a smile for the handsome young man on their lips, as if they knew he was heading somewhere special. And he was, no doubts about that. Tonight was a very special night - the night he would finally declare his love to Sam. He knew he should have done this sooner already, but he had waited for the right moment.

A few minutes away from his destination, Lucifer’s phone suddenly rang. He stopped at the corner and looked at his display. His brother, Michael.

“Mike, I told you I’m busy tonight. I can’t come,” Lucifer said without a greeting word.

“I know, Gabe just keeps asking where you are. He’s getting on everyone’s nerves already.”

“Tell him I’ll be over tomorrow, I have a date with Sam tonight.”

“Sam?” Michael sounded confused for a moment. “Lucifer, I thought he was -”

“Bye, Mike. See you tomorrow.”

Lucifer cut his brother off without listening to the rest of what he wanted to say. He knew what it was anyway, but he had no desire to let anyone stop him from seeing Sam. It was late by now and this part of the city wasn’t very frequented once it was dark, but Lucifer didn’t let that bother him. He had somewhere to be and if anyone dared to come at him, he knew how to handle it. Sam was waiting for him and he would not break the promise he made.

The place was only lit by two street lights in front of a big iron gate and when Lucifer opened it to step inside he heard the creaking and screeching or the metal in the bitter cold night. At any other day this would have sent a shiver down Lucifer’s spine, but not tonight. The way was not lit, but he knew where to go - he had been here every day for the last month after all. When he finally arrived, the fake smile vanished from his lips and Lucifer dropped to his knees, something he did every time he was here and that never stopped hurting him.

“Hey, Sam,” he whispered quietly, placing the bouquet of white roses on the snow in front of him. Careful and almost gentle he wiped the snow off the marble and revealed the engraved letters on it. “I promised we’d have a date tonight. I didn’t forget, Sam.”

His eyes were watering when he read Sam’s name for the millionth time, following each letter with his fingertips as if this, somehow, would reach the other. He didn’t realize the freezing cold or that the only light came from the single candle he had lit the day before, his only focus was on the photograph of his once best friend and secret love of years and the name beneath it.

“I know this isn’t how you imagined it, but I’m here.” Lucifer swallowed, but the lump in his throat stayed just where it was. “I wanted to wait for the right moment to say this, but I don’t think there will ever be a better one. I love you, Sam. I loved you for years now, but I never knew how to tell you without risking to lose you as a friend.”

The wind howled and blew Lucifer’s coat around, creating swirls of freshly fallen snow around him. A murder of crows rose from the trees behind him, one of them breaking out of the mass and landing on the stone in front of him. Lucifer looked at it for a moment, but immediately dropped his head again while fresh tears landed in the snow.

“I should have said something. There were so many right moments and I missed them all. I’m sorry, Sam. I wish I could see you one last time, I miss you so much…”

Lucifer’s voice broke and he simply let it happen, knowing that Sam couldn’t hear him anyway. All he could do was sit here, on the frozen ground that had swallowed his one and only love for the rest of eternity, and cry bitter tears of regret and sorrow. One last smile, one last touch, one last kiss or hearing his beautiful laugh one more time - all these things were ripped away from him forever, just like Sam was. 

All that was left was the emptiness that Sam’s loss had caused and the certainty that nothing would ever be able to fill this void inside of him. Without Sam, the world was a dark and lonely place and Lucifer would have to wander it alone now, knowing that every beautiful thing he would encounter would be one Sam’s would never see again. How he was supposed to survive this agony was beyond Lucifer, but he couldn’t even bring himself to care anymore. Sam had been his life and now his life had disappeared just like Sam’s warm smile and his sparkling eyes that brought so much happiness in the past.

**Author's Note:**

> This was it, the last Angstmas fic. I hope you all enjoyed this week of angst and pain and heartbreak as much as I did ♥ (I know I probably enjoyed it bc I'm a cruel monster, but still ^^)


End file.
